In case you see a flurry of reports online that Jon Bon Jovi is dead … not true.  Bon Jovi’s rep says the singer is alive and well and performing at a charity event.  He may be livin’ on a prayer, but he’s still livin’.  He may be wanted dead or alive, but the latter is where it’s at … at least for now.  He was NOT shot thru the heart.

The Playboy issue featuring Lindsay Lohan is flying off the shelves says Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.  But it all depends on who you talk to.  Hefner says that the issue is breaking sales records.  However, Fox News and CNN are reporting lackluster sales based on calls to various newsstands around the country.  CNN found that only one of the 12 retailers they contacted had sold out of the issue.  If the sales are as good as Hefner states, this is good news given all that went wrong with the issue.  First they had to do an entire re-shoot, (reportedly due to Lindsey’s bad teeth) Then the photos leaked out early, forcing Playboy to release the issue before they wanted to.  And then a travel problem caused Lohan to miss her interview introducing the photos on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”  Lohan was reportedly paid in the range of $1 million to bare all for the publication.

She “cracked” her head open in Miami last month while dancing, and now Kelly Osbourne has fallen out of bed and broken her hand. “im in sooooooo much pain i can’t sleep it’s bloody excruciating!” she tweeted early this morning. What happened: She wrote: “i must be the most accident prone/stupid person it the world i fell out my bed while sleeping last night & fractured my hand in 3 places!” She later tweeted that she’s left-handed and she injured her left hand, so her”mum” Sharon Osbourne was helping her brush her hair and cut her food.

Lakers star Kobe Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, are taking great pains to keep the details of their pending divorce under wraps by negotiating the terms privately.But legal experts said it’s clear Bryant’s wife will leave the marriage with a windfall. Vanessa Bryant filed the divorce petition Friday, citing “irreconcilable differences.”  The couple then issued a joint statement saying they had “resolved all the issues incident to their divorce privately.”

Some estimates put Bryant’s net worth at $150 million. Legal experts said Vanessa will probably receive at least $75 million in addition to ongoing spousal and child support.

Last season, as the NBA’s highest-paid player, Kobe Bryant earned $24.8 million in salary, and his contract extension signed last year is worth $83.5 million. Forbes estimates that with endorsement deals, Bryant last year earned $53 million before taxes and agent fees.

The fact the marriage lasted 10 years gives Vanessa several advantages under California divorce law. After passing the 10-year mark, attorney Dmitry Gorin said, a marriage is defined as a lengthy one, which means the spouse is allowed to maintain her standard of living after the split. Gorin said Vanessa Bryant may be entitled to permanent spousal support and may even be part of Kobe Bryant’s retirement plans. She’ll probably get “more than enough for many lifetimes,” Gorin said. Vanessa’s mother told The Times several years ago that the couple did not sign a prenuptial agreement when they tied the knot in 2001. If true, that would entitle Vanessa to half of their community property.

Joe Jonas was taken to the emergency room over the weekend.  He was complaining of stomach pains and taken to Children’s Hospital LA.  It’s being said the event was brought on after two days of partying.  The doctors examined him and then released him.  He must have made a quick recovery because he was seen out eating sushi that night.

Monty Python’s John Cleese will be playing a therapist on NBC’s “Whitney”.  When Whitney and Alex begin feeling disconnected in their relationship, Roxanne suggests they visit a therapist, Dr. Grant, for some advice.  Dr. Grant assigns the couple some at-home exercises designed to improve communication and intimacy which bring on some awkward moments… The episode will air in February.

Deion Sanders and his wife Pilar are getting divorced.  In a statement, the NFL Hall of Famer says, “Pilar and I have decided to end our marriage and move on to the next phase of our individual lives with mutual respect.  We are friends and our top priority has and will continue to be the well-being of our children.”  Deion and Pilar married in 1999 and they have three children together.

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe will make his debut as a SNL host on January 14 with musical guest Lana Del Rey.

Kelly Ripa’s guest co-hosts on “Live! With Kelly” for the week of January 9 will feature all sports figures…including Miami Dolphin’s Reggie Bush, NASCAR’s Carl Edwards, former NFL star Boomer Esiason, ESPN analyst Jesse Palmer and Olympic speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno.

Donald Trump says Rosie O’Donnel Tweets so much because she needs the attention, and nobody watches her show.  And he thinks she should see a psychiatrist.

Chaz Bono and his fiancée, Jennifer Elia, have called off their engagement and “are no longer a couple”.  Bono’s proposal to Elia was seen last month on the show, “Being Chaz.” The couple had been dating since 2005.  A rep for the two says  “No further amplification will be forthcoming and they ask that you respect their privacy at this time.”

If you already like the show, “The Price Is Right,” Celebrity Week is going to really make you happy.  Heidi Klum and Neil Patrick Harris will introduce the prizes, play the games and spin the big wheel with their audience member winners to raise money for charity.  Each star also got to create special showcases full of their personal favorite prizes. Other celebs appearing are Snoop Dogg, Jenny McCarthy and Chris Daughtry.  Celebrity Week begins January 2nd on CBS.

Conan O’Brien talked about people with fat fingers complaining that the Kindle is too hard to use.

A former NYU professor says he got fired because he gave James Franco a “D”! José Angel Santana,who had Franco in his “Directing the Actor” class, has filed a lawsuit in order to get his job back, claiming he was wrongfully terminated. According to the lawsuit, Santana gave Franco the grade he deserved after missing 12 of the 14 classes.  Santana claims he suffered all sorts of public humiliation at the hands of James Franco and the University itself, which ultimately fired him something he claims would never have happened to a white professor.  In the meantime, the university says “it’s disappointing to see a faculty member discuss any student’s grade for the purpose of his or her
personal publicity.”

Charlie Sheen is spending the holidays this week with ex-wife Denise Richards, their daughters, Sam and Lola, and Denise’s adopted daughter, Eloise.  Sheen is tweeting photos and while we don’t know exactly where the family is, Denise iswearing a bikini…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 20th, 2011 at 8:01 AM and is filed under The Jane Report. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.