“Glee” actress, Jane Lynch will be the Roast Master for the upcoming Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne Barr. “I’ve long fantasized of ripping Roseanne Barr a new one,” says Lynch, “But because I don’t have the cajones to say anything offensive to her face, I will be hosting the proceedings…”  The program will air Sunday, August 12th at 10pm.

Katy Perry is busy promoting her 3-D concert movie, “Part of Me” . . . and it sounds like she needs a break. She says she’s going to go into hiding in the woods somewhere, because it’s time for her to “go the [eff] away.”

“Us” magazine says Oprah Winfrey has agreed to appear on an episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”. There’s no airdate yet.  Oprah just interviewed the whole family for “Oprah’s Next Chapter”.  She claimed she had to do a “Kardashian Kram” because she hadn’t seen their shows before the interview.  But “Us” says Oprah became “so enamored” with the family that she signed a release to allow footage of her to be used on the show. And speaking of, Conan talked last night about how the Kardashians are looking for a family cemetery plot. He says they plan to die the way they lived . . . lying on their backs, doing nothing.

Tom Cruise has bird poo facials.The 49-year-old actor is reportedly a fan of the expensive treatment - which involves mixing nightingale excrement with rice bran and water and applying as a face mask - and is thrilled with the “fantastic” boost his complexion has had since he began the procedures.  A source close to the actor - who is married to Katie Holmes - said: “Tom doesn’t go in for Botox or surgery but he does pay close attention to all the new and popular natural treatments. “He recently started experimenting with the nightingale poo facial. It was recommended by a Hollywood pal and the results have been fantastic.” Tom is said to be “proud” to have turned to the treatment - of which Victoria Beckham is rumoured to be a fan - instead of turning to cosmetic surgery as he gets older. The source added to Now magazine: “Tom doesn’t see splashing out on the facials as him being vain or weird - in fact, he points out there are much wackier fads out there. And he’s proud of himself for avoiding the temptations of plastic surgery.”

Paula Deen made headlines back in January by revealing she was diagnosed with Type II diabetes three years ago all the time adding a stick of butter to everything and recommending parsley as a vegetable.  Deen has now lost 30 pounds and says she’s given up on eating her favorite southern foods on a regular basis and has eaten more fish and salads.  She says the weight loss took a couple of years, but that small changes all add up.

“Magic Mike” opens tomorrow, and it’s the true story of Channing Tatum’s early career as a male stripper.  Tatum is in the movie, but he doesn’t play himself . . . Alex Pettyfer from “I Am Number Four” plays him.  Tatum plays a more experienced stripper who mentors Pettyfer’s character.  It also stars Matthew McConaughey and Joe Manganiello from “True Blood.”

Producers of “The Good Wife” keep making a new announcement every day it seems. First they announced that addition of Maura Tierney and Kristin Chenoweth..now comes Nathan Lane. He will reportedly have a major guest star role playing Clarke, a “clever and calculating” bankruptcy trustee who is hired by Lockhart Gardner to cut costs and get them back on track and out of their financial struggles. Unfortunately, he doesn’t play well with others. Lane is expected to recur in anywhere from six to ten episodes, beginning with the first episode of
the season.

Stuart Lynn Dunn, the man accused of repeatedly harassing Mila Kunis, pleaded not guilty Wednesday to a pair of felony charges. Dunn, 27, appeared in a courtroom in Los Angeles to one count of stalking in violation of a restraining order and another count of stalking. Detective John Gregozek testified at a preliminary hearing that Kunis “was scared” of Dunn and believed he had “crazy eyes” and looked like he “could eat” her. Dunn’s due back in court for a pretrial hearing on August 1st. If convicted of the charges, he faces up to four years in prison.

Lindsay Lohan has settled with 3 men she allegedly abducted and took on a wild car chase through Santa Monica back in 2007 the same chase that resulted in her second infamous DUI arrest. Attorneys for both sides confirm the lawsuit was settled and a dismissal notice will be filed in court. The terms of the settlement have not been disclosed. The men sued in 2008, claiming an intoxicated Lindsay hijacked a car in which they were passengers following a party in Malibu. According to the suit, Lindsay then began an insane ride down the PCH “endangering all of their lives.” The suit claimed Lindsay blew through red lights, eventually ending up at the Santa Monica Police Department where she was arrested for  her second DUI bust in less than 90 days. Cops said they also found cocaine. Lohan pled guilty and eventually served one day in jail.

“True Blood” stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are expecting twins this fall. The couple met on set of HBO’s hit vampire series and got married nearly two years ago. Moyer, 42, has two children, Lilac, 10, and Billy, 12, from a previous relationship.  Something’s in the water (or blood) on that set.  Their costar, Sam Trammell has 11-month-old twins of his own with girlfriend Missy Yager.

R. Kelly had to cancel his book launch event and a number of television appearances because he’s suffering with complications from a surgery he had last year to treat an abscess on his vocal chords.  It’s not known how long the rapper will be out of commission.

The W.i.P. nightclub where Drake and Chris Brown got in a fight, has lost it’s liquor license. The New York State Liquor Authority (SLA) ordered the ban citing “ten separate assault and altercations beginning on March 11 2012, and leading up to the brawl at the club on June 14, 2012″ The SLA says it has hit the club with 17 Alcoholic Beverage Control Law violations … including drug activity (twice) … lack of supervision … using the name “W.I.P.” without SLA authorization … and  “becoming a drain on police resources.”

It sounds like things are not going as smoothly as expected on season 10 of “Project Runway”. Although the season has only been filming for a week and a half a report says that not one but two contestants are already left the show of their own accord.  Page Six reports that one contestant had a meltdown while filming at Parsons School for design. “A psychologist was brought in to talk to him, but he seemed too nervous and it was decided he should leave the show.” The night before, a female contestant took her suitcase and just disappeared from set in the middle of the night. Judge Michael Kors gave the remaining contestants a pep talk to calm them down, evidently, the tension and pressure have reached new heights for this upcoming season.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 28th, 2012 at 6:13 AM and is filed under The Jane Report. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.