The Jane Report
Indestructible force of nature Chuck Norris is suddenly vulnerable — to aging! Now that his beard has disappeared … it looks like the only thing that can defeat Chuck Norris is a razor.
Lindsay Lohan copped a plea yesterday to charges of reckless driving and lying to police. And she got a pretty stiff sentence for a change. Lindsay will spend 90 days in rehab but it’ll be a lockdown rehab not one where she can come and go as she pleases or leave early. She’ll also do 30 days of community service and undergo psychotherapy for 18 months. She also got two years’ probation, and she’ll have to submit to drug testing. Lindsay also copped to violating her probation for her jewelry theft case and was sentenced to 180 days in jail. But that sentence was stayed, meaning she won’t have to serve it if she stays out of trouble from here on out. The hearing was held in Los Angeles, and Lindsay showed up 48 minutes late from New York City after bagging on two commercial flights and finally taking a last-minute private jet.
Jimmy Kimmel talked about Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn admitting they’re dating. Jimmy said Lindsey Vonn took the “Lindsey with the worst judgment” card away from Lindsay Lohan.
They each made the announcement simultaneously on their Facebook and Twitter pages. They also posted coordinated photos of the two of them together. Lindsey posted one, Tiger posted four more. Here’s what Tiger had to say quote, “Something nice that’s happened off the course was meeting Lindsey Vonn. Lindsey and I have been friends for some time, but over the last few months we have become very close and are now dating.” And Lindsey said, quote, “I guess it wasn’t a well-kept secret but yes, I am dating Tiger Woods. Our relationship evolved from a friendship into something more over these past few months and it has made me very happy.” They also both asked for privacy and all that nonsense. It appears that a publicist sat them down for photos, wrote two slightly-tweaked versions of the same message, then posted them simultaneously on Tiger’s and Lindsey’s pages.
Pink stopped a show in the middle of a song last weekend in Philadelphia, because she saw a little girl crying in the crowd. She made it all better by giving the girl a frog toy and a Rice Krispies treat. It was during an acoustic performance of “Who Knew”. The crowd told her the girl was crying because there were people fighting around her.
Lisa Rinna says she doesn’t regret injecting her lips back in the day, because it gave her a career. She was talking to Hoda Kotb on “Today”, while she was filling in for Kathie Lee as a guest host.
Charlie Sheen says that his ex-wife Denise Richards is now being harassed as a result of his recent tirade against the school their 9-year-old daughter Sam used to attend. As you may recall, Charlie recently said that Sam had to quit the school because she was being bullied, and nobody would do anything about it. And his solution was to ask his Twitter followers to barrage the school with rotten eggs, toilet paper and DOG FECES. And now he’s got the STONES to be UPSET because parents who have kids at the school are apparently fighting back. Charlie told TMZ that his daughters found a threatening note pinned to a tree outside their home with a steak knife. Charlie said the perps WERE caught on surveillance cameras, and police are looking into it. As for what he plans to do with the knife, he said, quote, “I will return it through their heart.”
Lil Wayne said ICU later to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in West Hollywood … because TMZ has learned he was just released. Wayne spent 6 days in the hospital — most of it in the Intensive Care Unit — after suffering what appears to be a drug OD that triggered a series of massive seizures. Sources connected with the rapper tell us … Wayne is feeling weak but he’s a lot better. He plans on laying low until he makes a full recovery.
Not gonna happen. This is the pushback from Emma Watson, who has taken to Twitter to refute rumors that flamed up over this past weekend that she has been cast as the gorgeous but corruptible Anastasia Steele in the film adaptation of E L James’s Fifty Shades of Gray. “Who here actually thinks I would do 50 Shades of Gray as a movie? Like really. For real. In real life,” Tweeted Watson of the erotic role. The online hacking group Anonymous is reportedly to blame for fanning the erroneous casting news. It published online documents that said came from the internal server of the German Constantin Film studio, suggesting that Watson, 22, was up for the sexy role as lover to the fictional billionaire Christian Grey. Even the book’s author took to Twitter to shoot down the stories. “There have been no casting decisions made about Fifty Shades,” Tweeted James. Watson, who had been previously mentioned as a possible contender for the role, told EW.com last July that it was not on her plate. “I haven’t read the book, I haven’t read a script, nothing,” she said.